My Thirtieth Year

Greetings from...

2009-08-01T23:00:00.001-06:00

My iPhone & Me

2009-07-24T22:00:00.000-06:00

As some of you may know, I was forced into getting a new cell phone - and a new cell phone provider. I've been a Sprint user since I got my first cell phone in the good old days of 2001, but now, I am an AT&T girl.

Sprint was ok. The reception was great, the customer service was crappy, and they were always trying to get me to renew my two year contract whenever I wanted to change anything about my plan.

Now, I say I was "forced" because of the following reasons:

Everyone in my family has AT&T. They (meaning my mother) would constantly call me before 7pm, attempting to use all 350 of my daytime minutes.
I didn't have texting, which bothered most people, including my sister, who delighted in texting me the following message: "$0.30 hahah". (That's how much getting a text from my sister would cost me.)
My parents offered to kick my sister off their family plan and put me on.
Chandler (my younger brother) offered to give me his old iPhone when he bought a new iPhone 3GS.
Finally, my monthly phone bill averaged $48.oo with 350 anytime minutes, no texting, no camera phone, & no Internet access. The only thing my phone had going for it was that it was pink (slightly more lilac) and had a fantastic old school phone ring.

So I caved and agreed to the 'Great Phone Swap of 2009'. Little did I realize that this would lead to some very strong emotions and hyperventilation on my part.

First crisis came when my mother told me my new phone number. I couldn't migrate the beloved '0002' with me to AT&T. They claimed I had to have the same area code as the rest of the family plan members. Why then did they assign me a '224' area code and not an '847' like the rest of my family (excluding my father who has a '773')? Huh? Huh? My mother says she asked them for an 847, but I think she is lying. That's the kind of thing she would lie about because she thinks I'm strange for caring.

We won't even discuss the other numbers. They are all horrible. There is nothing inspiring about them at all.

Ok, we will discuss them. I wrote a poem to help express my feelings. Consider it part of the healing process.

'Ode to 801.358.0002'

My beloved 0002
What am I to do?
Sometimes, with a secret glee,
I'd tell them you were 0003.

Now I'm stuck with 8541
which is not nearly as fun.
With an area code of 224
I'm sad down to my core.

Oh how I'll miss you 358!
(This poem is really not that great.)
I'm stuck with stupid 475.
But I got a super awesome iPhone!

Theoretically, the iPhone is super user friendly because of its very simple user interface. All actions should be intuitive. (But please keep in mind that I haven't upgraded my phone in almost five years. My pink phone was a flip phone with very simple features.) Needless to say, I had a mental breakdown attempting to make a phone call. I couldn't quite grasp how the whole concept worked. And who cared if I could check my email or surf the web on it - I sit at a computer for at least 8 hours a day at work. I didn't lack for any sort of Internet access - all I wanted to do was make a phone call and be able to store the phone numbers of all 62 contacts/friends/family/Cafe Rio locations!

I've been fiddling around now with my iPhone for about a week and things have gotten much, much easier. I might even admit to downloading some apps and actually finding them useful. The real shift in 'our' relationship came when I broke down and bought a cute pink case for her. (As a side note, don't go into an Apple store and ask for a 1st generation iPhone case. They will laugh at you.) The case ended up being more of a shell, but I love it. The small shift in color makes all the difference!

Yes, I still have my original cell phone.

Bigger or Smaller Than My Head - Special Edition

2009-07-23T23:50:00.001-06:00

Every girl should have a bouncy ball filled with pink glitter floating in liquid that is bigger than her head... or at least that's what Auntie Shosh thinks!

25 Things You Didn't Know About Me - Reading Edition

2009-07-23T10:00:00.003-06:00

I read before I go to bed. Every night. Maybe just a page or two, sometimes (accidentally) the whole book (like The Hunger Games by Suzanne Colins).
I've read Jaws by Peter Bentley more times than I can count. I purchased my first copy at a garage sale in 3rd grade for $0.10. It had a naked lady swimming on the cover and I am still nervous about swimming out to the buoys... in the lake. My mom made me throw it away two Christmases ago because it was held together with a rubber band. She told me to stop being cheap and buy a new copy already.
I loathe modern writers that continue the stories of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice (like Mr. Darcy Takes A Wife by Linda Berdoll). They are everywhere and usually include the phrase "throbbing member".
Conversely, I have read Scarlett by Alexandra Ripley , the unauthorized sequel to Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind, more than once. Rhett Butler, a tragic storm capsizing a boat, Ireland, castles, a baby... be still my heart.
I collect cookbooks. Lots of them. I enjoy reading them, cover to cover. Especially if they have pictures of my boyfriend, Bobby Flay.
I don't read LDS fiction. Ever. So don't try to tell me that Charly will change my life.
I've finished every book I've ever started. Sometimes it will take a couple of tries (Last of the Mohicans), but I always finish.
I currently have 33 books stacked next to my bed waiting to be read.
I avoid buying copies of books that have the 'movie' covers.
I always am currently reading at least two (sometimes four) books simultaneously.
Absolutely NO 'cheap paperback' edition books for me. (You know, the ones that are small and all the same size and have really nasty feeling paper.)
Sometimes, I go to Borders and read the whole book there without ever buying it.
I've been known to read a book and then return it if I didn't like it. (I'm not saying I'm proud of this fact.)
Even though I read a ton, I'm terrible at words games (scrabble, crosswords, text twist).
"What is your favorite book?" is one of the worst questions ever asked. I judge people who ask me that.
When I participated in Book-It during elementary school, the teacher always thought I was lying because I would finish my required minutes so quickly (like on day 2). I still have that super awesome hologram-ish pin that we collected the stickers on.
When I was younger and I was disobedient, my parents would ground me... from my current book.
I prefer buying books to checking them out from the library. (It might be considered some sort of addiction.) Library books have scary things tucked between the pages and they NEVER have the books I am looking for. The only advantage is that the books are free. Admittedly, that is a pretty nice incentive.
I am a founding member of a book club that has been going on for four years.
Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn is the scariest book I've ever read.
Most of my reading idiosyncrasies come from my mother who is a voracious reader.
I am obsessed with book design - the size & shape of the book, the cover art, the typography, the feel of the page - I notice and appreciate all of it. If I had a drop of creativity in my blood, I'd change my major and go into book design!
I always judge books by their covers.
I rarely use a book mark.
It depresses me to think about how many books are out there that I'll never have the time or opportunity to read. I try not to think about it too often...

Ode To My Vacuum Warning Graphic Pictures

2009-07-11T16:00:00.003-06:00

Four Girls Shedding + (Vacuum - Suction) + Boring Friday Night = Satisfying Retrieval of Giant Hair Ball

I bought this vacuum from Wal*Mart for $27.98 many, many moons ago. It's no Oreck, but it's impressive.

This is just one more example of why I heart America - I can buy a vacuum for less money than my last pair of shoes. In our country, anything is possible!

Dear King of Pop

2009-07-07T23:00:00.001-06:00

Dear King of Pop,

I'm relieved to know that you didn't have to sell your silver glove during your estate auction last April. Maybe you can be buried with it - and Bubbles the Chimp (when he dies of course).

I want you to know that you are part of one of my earliest memories. I remember watching the premier of the 'Thriller' video on MTV in December of '83. (That was back when MTV actually played music videos.) I was 3 1/2 and my friend, (not Jenny Husar) bit my cheek in a fit of passion that evening. (I promise you my mother will make a comment about how there is no way I can remember this experience, maybe she is right, but I believe it none the less.)

Rest assured that I believe you when you sing Billie Jean was not your lover, that she's just a girl who claimed you were the one - the kid is not your son.

I have one last question. Could you explain the following lyrics? They've always confused me.

You're A Vegetable, You're A Vegetable/ Still They Hate You, You're A Vegetable/ You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable/ They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable

A fan of your early work,

SMK, P.Y.T.

P.S. Say hello to Elvis for us! And I'm sure you'll be so happy to see Elizabeth Taylor again.

P.P.S. Cancel that, just found out Elizabeth Taylor is still alive. That was awkward...

Somedays, Being An Adult Is Hard

2009-07-06T23:21:00.006-06:00

Like when you have to go back to work after a super fun three day weekend trip and it's hotter than hades out. When a small breeze finally kicks up in your air-condition-less office, it only manages to blow the horrible, horrible, rotting trash smell from the dumpsters into your teeny, tiny closet.

Or when on the drive home from your super fun three day weekend trip, you miss your turn off onto highway 6 because you are chatting with your mom on your cell phone. After 150 miles of very scenic desolation, you stop for gas and a bathroom break at the first available sign of life. Then your check engine light goes on.

It's at this moment you realize, you've never heard of Salina, Utah, you have no handy dandy State Farm atlas (You immensely regret telling your dad that you in no way needed a GPS for Christmas - after all, isn't Utah just a grid system? A lot of good that camera tripod you made him buy is doing you now.) and you jump to conclusion that you just might not ever get home and have to live out the rest of your life as a 4th wife in the boonies of Utah.

Did I mention the Check Engine Light?

Then after talking to the mechanic (because after all, you made it home to Provo traveling at the average speed of 45 mph with the hazard lights flashing) you call your Dad to ask a simple question about fuel pumps.

And then, when your Dad acts like his normal guy self and states the fact that he really knows nothing at all about fuel pumps and proceeds to ask about the state of your timing belt, you act like every 'adult' would act.

You have a mental breakdown, yell at him for 'lecturing' you (even though it was you who called him), have a very loud crying fest, drink down a large glass of cold water, change into the most muu-muu like dress you own, turn on the fan and point it directly at your bed, then lay down and take a 3 hour and 18 minute long nap.

Upon waking up, you feel somewhat better (although quite sweaty from the sweltering heat), you really want Cafe Rio, but remembering that you are car-less, instead settle for a dinner of cheesy popcorn and Sprecher's Orange Cream Soda.

Your mood is finally lifted when while catching up on some illegal Internet t.v. viewing, you glance down at your toes and realize that your cousin Emma really did quite a good job when she gave you a pedicure during your super fun three day weekend.

Somedays, being an adult is not what I thought it would be.

Nothing says 'Welcome to the Club' like a cupcake...

2009-07-05T20:00:00.003-06:00

God Bless America

2009-07-04T23:00:00.004-06:00

Our country is fantastic.

Where else do you see people celebrating their beloved country's birthday with giant fireworks called 'The Crowd Pleaser'?

I love it!

Thank you to all the men and woman who fought and continue to fight to defend the freedoms we have. Our freedoms are safe thanks to the sacrifice of our fellow countrymen and their families. They sacrifice their time, their comforts, their money, their lives...

And 'Happy Birthday' America! I thank God everyday that I was born here in the land where brownies were invented, where every sport worth playing was created, and where J.K. Rowling was inspired to write one of the best books ever written.***

This next giant explosion goes out to you America - Hurry up and light the 'Hurricane' Uncle John!

P.S. Did anyone else see NO signs of the H.E.T.'s (hard economic times). Nothing says, "I'm worried about my financial future" like burning hard earned cash on 45 seconds of flashing lights and loud booming.

*** Yes, I know J.K. is from England, but she should have been from America with that 'rags to riches' story she tells. Just like I like to pretend we own Canada, I also like to pretend every fantastic thing I love is American. And in case you were wondering, Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince (the movie) comes out in 10 days!

P.P.S. If it wasn't obvious, I was in Colorado with my cousins for the holiday. It rained. A lot. Fun times were had none the less.

Bigger or Smaller Than My Head

2009-07-02T10:00:00.000-06:00

I bet you can guess where this came from. You just can't say no to a $6 pie bigger than your head!

*And if you are wondering, it is some of the BEST apple pie we've had in a long time.

A New Roommate

2009-06-30T23:54:00.004-06:00

Say hello to Dojo, the Precious Tiny Kitten.

In no way does he belong to me.

We just live together... and sometimes snuggle.

The Utah Connection

2009-06-25T22:00:00.004-06:00

****UPDATE**** My whole theory has been shot when Mary pointed out that the small black man in the picture is 'Webster', not 'Arnold'. I apologize to Emmanuel Lewis for mislabeling him as Gary Coleman - the other small black man. I will continue to hunt for the Utah Connection.

Anyone who has lived in Utah knows that the local news has a major inferiority complex. Nothing terribly exciting ever happens in Utah, so they insist on sensationalizing every last thing. Whether it is CBS, FOX, NBC, or ABC, they all try to tie in any major news story across the country to Utah. Their favorite phrase, "Tune in at 10 o'clock to learn about the Utah connection!"

Some examples include:

In March '08, a Vegas man was hospitalized due to exposure to ricin. Utah connection?
When Fire Ants attacked a 13 year old boy in LA last week, channel 5 did a 15 segment on how to prepare for the 'inevitable' attack
And last night, the leading story was how mosquitoes are just as deadly as H1N1. [My two favorite lines from that article are: "it could be one of the state's worst mosquito seasons in more than 20 years" (apparently, they've never visited the left field of the Antioch Little League field in Lake County Illinois on a summer night) and "To avoid mosquito bites, wear long-sleeved shirts and pants while outdoors" (are you serious? it's only 98 degrees outside! why not throw on a hoodie while you're at it and die of heat stroke!)]

So this afternoon, when I heard the tragic news of Michael Jackson's untimely death, I immediately started brainstorming for what the Utah connection might be. (To be honest, my actual immediate reaction was to deny that M.J. was really dead. After all, I've heard of stranger publicity stunts.)

With a little help from Brian Williams, I learned that the connection to Utah is easier than you'd think! Follow me now...
In February 1984, Michael Jackson took his girlfriend, Brooke Shields, to the Grammy's. For some unknown reason, Gary Coleman accompanied them. Mr. Coleman (aka: Arnold) now lives in Santaquin, Utah.
Bingo! It's as good as if The King of Pop lived here himself!

(This of course leads to the Illinois connection because 'Arnold' was born in Zion, IL, just a stone throw away from where I grew up in Antioch, IL. Perhaps I'll drive on down to the Payson area and introduce myself to Mr. Coleman. I'm sure he'd love to meet me...)

Appearing tonight for the first time ever on the same stage -

The King of Rock & Roll and The King of Pop!!!

Too bad Elvis is a vampire, otherwise there would be one heck of a concert going on in heaven tonight. (Although come to think of it, I don't know if you get a straight pass to heaven if you did drugs, dangled your child over a balcony, and were quite creepy. Perhaps the creation of the Moon Walk makes up for some of it and the fantastic singin' for the rest!)

Are Killer bees coming to Utah? Tune in at 10:00pm to find out how to protect your family and your food storage!

And because not everyone is interested in reading a book report...

2009-04-06T22:15:00.003-06:00

I give you this - my kindergarten school picture.

The Children's Hospital by Chris Adrian

2009-03-25T15:35:00.005-06:00

'The Children's Hospital'
The Children's Hospital, by Chris Adrian, paperback, 624 pages
Imagine Grey's Anatomy, set in a children's hospital floating upon seven miles of post-apocalyptic floodwaters, and penned by a writer of staggering talent and sensibility. I know, it sounded weird to me, too. But when I finally cracked the cover of The Children's Hospital, it was clear from the first 30 pages that this is a giant miracle of a book. The next 600 pages fly by in a majestic whirl of a story, with indelible characters and writing that makes you want to kiss the writer who brought it to the page. Part hospital drama, part divine exploration, The Children's Hospital has one foot in this world and one in another, as its stunning cast of characters attempt to remake the world. Chris Adrian's writing is simultaneously irreverent and deeply tender, startlingly brilliant and beautiful, moved by a mix of all things good in the world and a sense for what is behind our darkest evils. A novel of creation and destruction, The Children's Hospital is epic in scope but assembled from the most intimate graces and notions, making it one of the most remarkable novels of recent years.

Synopsis written by Lucia Silva, Book Buyer at Portrait of a Bookstore

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10804366

Frustration - that's the word to describe this book. The first 200 pages of this book were enthralling, I couldn't put it down. As I got deeper into the story, the flashbacks dragged on, dream and action sequences were difficult to separate, and the majority of the characters (700 to be precise) suffered from unpronounceable diseases. This book consumed me for a whole week - I was even forced to keep it past it's due date to finish. (Late fee = $0.30)

There were so many questions that kept me reading: What's the significance of the King's Daughter - who is a, "gruesome baby . . . so unique that she was her very own syndrome" and whose birth triggers the 'The Thing'? Why was the Earth flooded again even though God promised not to do this again? (This question was even raised in the book. The answer: Who knows.) Did Calvin really "sacrifice" himself by ripping out his own eyeballs and tongue? What happened to the book/scripture that Calvin wrote that Jemma threw into the ocean? Where did 'The Botch' come from - God or Man? And if the Recording Angel is writing The Book of the King's Daughter, why is Jemma the main character whose powers perpetuate the story into the next section (after 'Thing Two')? Perhaps I missed the point, but all these questions (and then some) were left unanswered. Not so much in the way that left me feeling like Adrian has the answers, but in the way that makes me think he has taken on so much that he can't help but forget about the questions raised earlier.

For me, the reading became hard going. There are just so many words in this book. (Small type, margin to margin, limited dialogue.) The fact I had no idea where the book was headed was great, but the effort it took to plod through wordy flashbacks that go on for pages was enough to almost make me put the book away (except for the fact that I have a very obsessive passion of finishing every book I've ever started).

I finally realized that Adrian was leading me on a wild goose chase for answers when my roommate asked me how the book was coming. I found myself describing the scene in which Jemma, (who has yet to discover that she is 1) pregnant with the first child to be born since the end of the world and 2) has magical/mystical/realistic Jesus like healing powers) has the angel (who is housed in a super computer in the sub-basement of the floating hospital) replicate 'magic' mushrooms for her. During her trip, she finds herself conversing with a giant talking vagina.

When I finish a book, I ask myself, who could I get to read this so I can discuss? Sadly the answer to this was no one. If the plot doesn't scare them away, the exhaustive text will.

I'm giving the impression I didn't like it, and that's not entirely the case. I just found myself working extremely hard for something that didn't pay off in the way I hoped.

Why I Sometimes Think I Should Cancel My Costco Membership

2009-03-25T15:03:00.010-06:00

I go for gas, toilette paper, and dish soap and come home with a 4lb block of feta.

While at Costco I think, "I love feta! This is such a fantastic deal! And look - it's bigger than my face!"

I lug the block home and come face to face with reality, "Now what? How in the world am I suppose to eat a 4lb block of feta? Once I open it and crumble off the one ounce for my salad, what do I do with the uneaten portion? Egads."

I quickly do the math and discover that if I eat the serving size of 1.25 ounces per day, I should be polishing off the feta by mid-May.

Now I avoid making eye contact with the feta. It intimidates me. Instead I play it safe and add some Muenster to my meal instead.

Spring Has Sprung.

2009-03-21T23:36:00.005-06:00

A week's worth of perfect 72 degree weather leads to flowers blooming everywhere.

It was so nice out, I went rollerblading to Utah Lake. (Yes, I know, rollerblading is so 90's.)

Somehow, I ended up being in the middle of some sort of 5K.

The warm weather brought out the local wildlife. I saw what I can only assume were wild mustangs wading in the river, lots of ducks and turtles, a pheasant, and two snakes.

I couldn't help but think that my whole rollerblading adventure would be a lot more interesting if the Provo River was home to a Gator or two...

No Good Terrible Dr. Pepper Tragedy

2008-12-02T23:21:00.004-07:00

I have no pictures today, just a terrible, no good, very tragic story.

I went to Nicolatia's for dinner to pick up a sausage and jalapeno pizza. I also got a side salad (mostly for the incredibly tasty salad dressing) and a large Dr. Pepper.

To make what could be a long story short, every single ounce of the D.P. ended up in the front passenger seat of my beloved CR-V.

Every. Single. Ounce.

It was a flood of Dr. Pepper. The tsunami of soda rushed over (and into) my steamy pizza as I stood in the parking lot, shouting curse words, and shaking my fist at the heavens.

I don't know how it happened, but it got everywhere! My library book, my coach purse, my shamefully expensive sunglasses, my dashboard and floor mats, all spattered with sticky soda.

I've used many, many towels to blot it up out of the seat cushion, but I have a sneaking suspicion a car detail might be in my near future.

To make my night even more pitiful, Vicky (otherwise known as 'B-icky') didn't get voted off Biggest Loser and Megavideo cut me off for my 72 minutes of view time right in the middle of a very intense scene of True Blood (which I am now hooked on). I think HBO glamorized me into craving this show. I even have dreams of mild mannered vampires.

I've decided that mild mannered vampires are the new 'Mr. Darcy' or 'Gilbert Blythe'. Forget waiting for my Gilbert. I'm waiting for my Bill - my undead lover. (Bill Compton that is. Not to be confused with Bill from the Cannon Center or Bill Nye the Science Guy.)

Gobble. Gobble, gobble. Gobble.

2008-11-27T22:32:00.002-07:00

Three cheers for Thanksgiving - the tastiest Holiday of the year!

I spent Turkey Day with my roommate Autumn. We made Spanish spiced rubbed grilled turkey breasts, mashed Yukon gold potatoes with gravy, Shirley's Parker house rolls, roasted Brussels sprouts, cranberry relish, stuffing (Stove Top - shh, don't tell), and an impromptu sweet potato casserole. Of course we had dessert - pumpkin pie with whipped cream & the new, fabulously famous, Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bars with Cream Cheese Frosting from Takeout Catering. Did I mention we had a bacon cheddar cheese ball as an appeteaser?

Yes. In case you needed clarification, it was only Autumn and I.

There were a few mishaps. My grilled oranges that were to be a fancy turkey garnish turned to briquettes when I forgot them on the grill.

Here's a story. When I was very young, I ate all the orange slices that my grandma used to garnish the turkey. I got a terrible citrus rash in all of my 'crevices'. There's a lesson for you all you citrus lovers. Citrus kills... or at least rashes!

Marshmallows also burn very quickly under the broiler. They might even burst into flames.

Don't worry. The Marshmallow Crisis of Thanksgiving '08 was quickly scraped into the garbage can.

This is Autumn's very 'artsy' picture of her Thanksgiving Plate. It was a total mistake. She found a new mode on my camera.

I chose the more colorful option. Please note the Pomegranate 7-up in the glass. I highly recommend giving it a try if you run across a bottle. Only out for a limited time! You will also note I whipped out the 'fancy' pink plates and glasses. Nothing but the best for me and Autumn!

And if you are wondering what I'm most thankful for this year: indoor plumbing.

Some Things Never Get Old

2008-10-31T20:12:00.002-06:00

Like carving Jack-O-Lanterns

And dressing up like Ms. Dorothy Gale of Kansas.

Yes - this picture is circa 2006 or perhaps 2005 or 2004... the Dorothy years all just run together now. The important thing is that you know I was wearing this same outfit today at work (sans puppy).

The Colorado Trip

2008-10-21T19:27:00.006-06:00

I was kindly asked to come to Colorado and play with my cousins while Aunt Wendy & Uncle John went to San Francisco.

We had so many exciting adventures!

The girls took me to my first ever Corn Maze. I loved it! Olivia led us through and Eliza made sure to leave a corn trail just in case...

Eliza got to achieve her 'life long' dream of actually eating a meal inside of the August Moon restaurant (instead of just doing takeout). She declared that the restaurant had great ambiance - she was quite impressed with the fish swimming in the fountain.

We played with Lambeau.

We made some new friends.

Made lots,

and lots,

of tasty treats.

Took a nap - or two.

And sadly, lost some friends. Poor Penny the Pomegranate.

Reunion - The Ten Year

2008-10-08T18:59:00.004-06:00

If given the chance, I recommend everyone goes to their class reunion. I would have regretted not going. On the other hand, I would have never gone alone. The memories are sure to last me another ten years.

There were people there I was excited to see and people there I dreaded seeing. People I had hoped would come didn't and people I had feared would come thankfully stayed home. Little did they know, they were missing out on some high quality entertainment & food.

Highlights included:

Being some of the first people to show up to the bowling alley (yes, you heard me). I'm convinced everyone else thought I would be late so they over compensated.
Finding out our school colors changed from Cardinal & Grey to Bluish Gray & Maroon/Red.
Being relieved that my dress followed our never previously discussed theme of black and white.
The after dinner open bar being taken away after the Class of '98 drank the Tower Room dry during the first open bar hour.
Having extremely awkward rejected yearbook pictures compiled into a slide show & subsequently put on facebook.
Getting to catch up with some old friends and discovering they are just as great as they were 10 years ago (aka: Garrett & his lovely wife Jessie).
Constantly smashing my GIANT name tag back onto my bosom.
Being incredibly relieved when certain classmates did not show up. I think we all know who I'm talking about.
Skipping out early, ordering delicious pizza from R.J.'s, and hanging out with my girls at The Staubers. Thank goodness Sarah's yearbooks were readily available!

While home, I also (finally) got to meet the new member of our family, One-Eyed Bella. Trips to the D.P. will never be the same again.

We Celebrated A Birthday

2008-09-30T23:00:00.002-06:00

With pasta,

salad,

and cake, homemade. Oh, and Autumn - she was the lady of the evening. Welcome to the mid to late twenties club. Your membership card should be in the mail.

Going to the zoo, zoo, zoo...

2008-09-13T22:00:00.003-06:00

Jo & I went to the Utah Hogle Zoo today. I'd never been & was excited to check it out.

The zoo was pretty small, but very well kept. They had a white alligator (otherwise known as The Ghost of the Bayou), an extensive large cat exhibit (which was open air, but still smelled like cat pee), and a very exciting bird show (hosted by one h-o-t-t hot zoo keeper). The only animal exhibit we weren't able to see were the wolves. I wasn't too sad about that considering I own a wolf dog.

Pictured above is Muke, the zoo's female Western Lowland Gorilla. We walked up just in time to see Muke take her mid-morning meal. It was very interesting to see that when she came to the corn cob, she shucked it and THEN ate the whole cob.

The baby giraffe was quite precocious. I really don't know why more people don't own baby giraffes - they are highly entertaining!

After the zoo, Jo & I met up with Dan at the Red Lobster for a night of All-You-Can-Eat shrimp. We lasted through about six rounds before our pants had to be unbuttoned. We rolled ourselves on home...

Elvis Lives!

2008-09-12T23:00:00.004-06:00

Jo-dan and I went to the Utah State Fair to see the Elvis Impersonation Contest. Anyone is welcome to enter and try to win an opportunity to go to the Elvis Extravaganza finals in February at the Florida State Fair in Tampa.

Before the competition began, we got some tasty 'fair food'. I had a Nauvoo taco (aka: Navajo taco) and Jo-dan had a giant foot long corn dog that ended up being a giant sausage on a stick, fried. Later, Dan brought us one of Jo's favorite treats - a funnel cake!

I don't know about Jo-dan, but I was highly entertained. The first Elvis to come out (see top photo) was obsessed with giving away silk scarves to all of his lady fans. He kept climbing down these rickety stairs (while singing) to hand these scarves to a handful of screaming middle aged women. Then he'd have to slowly climb back up the rickety stairs (while singing) to go back up on stage. I kept thinking he was going to fall down the stairs and break a fake Elvis hip!

The second Elvis (dressed in blue) was suffering from a cold. I have a sneaking suspicion he would have been the best if his voice didn't keep cracking. He kept apologizing for his lack of vocals (as he drank out of his bottled water).

Total, there was four competitors. I will be honest, I thought there'd be a lot more. One of the competitors didn't even count because he was a mentally handicapped boy who dreamed of being Elvis. The band let him come up in his outfit and 'sing'. It was all VERY awkward. He didn't know any of the words, but he had the hip shake down.

At the end of the competition, all the Elvii got on stage and had a sing off. They sang songs picked by the audience. They passed around a microphone, each singing the next line of the song until only one Elvis was left. The first Elvis, Mr. Silk Scarf, was the winner.

In the end, all three of the legitimate Elvis impersonators got sent to Florida. Not much of a competition if you ask me.

Afterwards, we walked around the fair, checking out exhibits and taking pictures of cute farm animals.

This is the cutest pig behind I've ever seen.

This sheep is so wrinkly.

Here is proof that my butt is slightly smaller than a cow's.

Hmmm... I've never owned a chicken before...

Move over Macey's, There's a New Grocery Store in My Life!

2008-09-10T23:39:00.007-06:00

Sunflower Farmer's Market is Now Open!

I love this new grocery store. It is small & intimate, but fabulously well stocked. From what I can tell, this company focuses on seasonal locally grown produce with an emphasis on organic and 'green' living. (I will forever put 'green' in quotes because I don't like this word.)

Some highlights of my first shopping experience include: real crusty french bread, an extensive cheese display that rivals Wisconsin grocers, an olive bar, fresh okra, real turmeric root, cipollini, baby summer squash, yams & sweet potatoes, churro flavored corn puffs, a real butcher that produces in-house sausages & bratwursts, homemade ready to eat soups, and much more.

The only thing I was really hoping for that I couldn't find was some Pirate's Treasure aka Pirate's Booty a la Fresh & Communist.

P.S. The reusable bags were free in celebration of the grand opening. I prefer my Earth destroying disposable plastic grocery bags. They have so many other uses.

P.P.S. An employee was walking around giving out free samples. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

Employee: Would you like a free sample?

Me: It depends. What is it a sample of?

Employee: Serenity

Me: Can I have two?

Spanakopita, Souvlakia, Baklava, and Gyros... Opa!

2008-09-06T22:30:00.006-06:00

The Greeks sure know how to throw a party!
This is the second year I've had the opportunity to attend the Greek Festival put on as a fundraiser by the Greek Orthodox Church of Greater Salt Lake. The festival is extremely well organized, provides hours of entertainment with dancers & singers, and most importantly, serves very delicious Greek food.

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb... I'm sorry, it had to be said.

I went to the festival with my cousin Kalissa, her husband Bill, the baby Kayden, and their Grandma Caroline. Kayden did very well at the festival. He opted to take a quick snooze while we stood in line for our food.

The decision is difficult to pick and choose what food to add to my plate from the buffet line. I opted for as much as I could fit on my plate. (I drew the line at adding a second plate to my tray, but was forced to accept an additional bowl... and 4 oz cup of feta.) The Pilafi is to die for. I could eat a whole plate of the fluffy, lemony rice! The meat is so fresh, flavorful & juicy. It doesn't hurt that as you stand in line, you file past all the grilling tents that waft over their tempting smells. It is rare that I come across Spanakopita as addicting as my very non-greek mother's, but the portion I received was filled with spinach fully flavored with mint and feta.
There were many items I didn't have room in my stomach to try. The chicken, meatballs, beans, and casseroles will all have to wait till another year!
We ended the night with sweet, sticky baklava and heaping piles of loukoumathes.
Opa!

Sky Spectacular

2008-09-06T14:00:00.006-06:00

This morning, I had the delightful opportunity to attend a kite festival put on by the city of Spanish Fork. The festival was in celebration of the new Wind Farm Turbines they installed at the mouth of the Spanish Fork Canyon. Supposedly, the turbines will provide Spanish Fork with the majority of the power they need to run the city. I wonder if the people who work at Wind Farms are still called farmers?

The day was perfect for flying kites - windy & sunny but not hot. There were many activities to choose from. I mostly just watched other people fly the kites. They had professional kite fliers to help anyone learn how to fly a kite. The professionals also brought along their big, expensive kites to play around with.

The festival was held on the grounds of the Spanish Fork Gun Club. This is also the location of the Spanish Fork Reservoir (which is a large concrete tub in the mountains). It shocked me how many people thought swimming in the reservoir was a good idea. The kite fliers would circle around the reservoir using jet skis to pull their kites. They would make the kites do intricate tricks - some even choreographed to music.

In as many years as I've lived in Provo, I had no idea there was a cross on top of Loafer Mountain in Spanish Fork. (Truth be told, I had no idea there was even a Loafer Mountain.) It is the Escalante Cross. I noticed it while I was dangling my feet in the large concrete tub watching the kites.

The most exciting part of Sky Spectacular had nothing to do with kites. As part of the Wind Farm Celebration, they had booths set up promoting being 'green'. Apparently, to be green, I should be using a Segway Personal Transporter. A nice man donated his time and Segway collection to let everyone learn how to drive/ride one. I wouldn't say no if someone wanted to buy me one for Christmas. It takes some practice, but once I got the hang of it, I was zooming around.

Yes, I recognize how geeky this whole post is.

Difficult Things to Say While on the Phone at TakeOut Catering

2008-09-05T14:31:00.009-06:00

At TakeOut Catering, when a customer has finished placing an order with me, I always read back the items and amounts on the order to confirm I got everything correct. Over the years, I have learned to avoid certain word combinations. For some unknown reason, I can rarely say the following phrases correctly:

"dozen Sugar Cookies" = Grab your tongue and try to say it. That's what I sound like. I purposely avoid saying cookies after the word sugar. It's really for the best.

"pounds Chopped Peanuts" = I always think of my Daddy-O trying to order a scoop of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream at Baskin Robbin's and accidentally saying "Reese's Penis Butter Cup". The thought always pops into my head and I say, "chopped penis". As you can imagine, this is very embarrassing.

"Full Sheet White Cake" = More than once, I've had to cover up the fact I accidentally told a customer that they ordered a 'full (insert bad word that means poop) white cake'. Rather unfortunate. Perhaps they should order from a real bakery.

Timpanogos Storytelling Festival

2008-08-29T23:00:00.008-06:00

Mary and I went to the Timpanogos Storytelling Festival tonight. It was very reminiscent of my childhood. Mom & Dad use to take us kids every year in Illinois until it got outrageously expensive. I thought this activity was a great deal at only $8 per person. After all, that's less money than a movie!

The session Mary and I attended was a collection of eight different storytellers sharing their favorite stories. It was held at the Scera Shell (only days after Boys II Men performed). Mary & I lucked out - we got great seats - directly in the middle and pretty close to the stage.

My favorite storyteller of the evening was Kevin Kling. He only has one arm. The listeners had to be quick and attentive to keep up with his extensive vocabulary and his dry humor. Kevin's story was about a bachelor party, a baseball game, and a wager.

In school, no one informs children of all the career choices available to them. No one told me I could grow up to be a storyteller. I admire the storytellers and their abilities to entrance a crowd with their words. (For some reason, that description reminds me of Hitler. Storytellers are not like Hitler.)

Perhaps I should change my major to Storytelling...

Afterwards, we went to Cafe Rio for dinner. I changed it up by having a smothered steak burrito.

'Adventures in Lava Hot Springs' or 'Why I Need a New Pair of Sunglasses'

2008-08-23T23:16:00.022-06:00

This weekend, Uncle Wobby & Aunt Debbie took the whole clan on an adventure to Idaho. I was very excited to go to the great state of Idaho because I love potatoes! The town we went to is called Lava Hot Springs. I had never heard of this place before, but apparently Bill (Kalissa's husband) grew up going on Summer Vacations to this hot spot (pun intended).

We got off to a late start (as typical of every Kent outing), but made good time. We left at 11am (instead of 8am) and had to stop for gas, then at Target (because some people didn't even have swimming suits or the required swimming polo shirt) and then at Taco Bell (because by then, it was lunch time). Once we got on the road, it only took us about 2 hours and 45 minutes to get to the absolute middle of nowhere.

Bill tried warning us that this town is very small - we didn't believe him. We were shocked at how small it actually is! This motel advertised color t.v. How incredibly modern! The whole Main St. 'downtown' area is about 4 blocks long. They have a grocery store, two or three motels, an outpost gift shop, lots of tube rental shacks, a really rundown mini-golf (only $1/person), some very exotic metaphysical stores and about 4 or 5 restaurants (including Thai food - Idaho style).

Unfortunately, this restaurant had closed down. This is incredibly shocking considering how delicious and well placed the food looks on the giant plastic sign. Perhaps their use of the elderly as waitresses contributed to their downfall.

For dinner, we ate at a hamburger joint claiming to serve 'old fashioned hamburgers'. It was a total dive. I'm not quite sure what they meant by 'old fashioned', but the fries were rather tasty (thank you Idaho potatoes). The main dining hall was decorated with vinyls stapled to the ceiling. Oddly enough, the women's bathroom had an Easter theme.

The biggest adventure of the day was tubing down the Portneuf River. We rented tubes from the shacks and walked them up to the river to plop ourselves in. This is after we spent a good hour arguing about how and where to put our swimming suits on. (I had put my suit on after I took a shower at 7am. I traveled the whole way to Idaho totally prepared for a watery encounter.) Everyone finally decided to take turns changing in the car. Even baby Kayden put on his camo themed swim trunks (courtesy of Build-a-Bear).

Our first run down the river didn't go so well. Part way through the run, Kassidy (16yrs & 89 lbs) got knocked out of her tube. She immediately lost her flip flops. Because of this, she couldn't get her footing and was swept downriver before a stranger helped her up. She really got beat up on the rocks. She was lightly bleeding from numerous places and had big bruises already forming. Naturally, she was shook up and crying when I floated up on the scene. (For some reason, I kept getting pushed to the side of the river and stuck in the brush - thus, I was far behind the others.)

I managed to get poor Kassidy back in her tube and we safely floated the rest of the way down the river. When we got to the area where we were suppose to exit the river, I proceeded to almost drown myself in an attempt to pull Kassidy to the side of the river. I underestimated the depth of the raging river. Meanwhile, Kalissa also tried helping Kassidy walk up the steep, muddy embankment and only succeeded in covering herself head to toe in mud when she slipped and fell. It was truly a series of unfortunate events.

Our second run down the river didn't go well. Kassidy opted to sit out due to injury and Kalissa sat out to keep her and Baby Kayden company. On our first run, we went into the river after the three tiered waterfall. Since it was just me, Bill, Kyler, & Uncle Wobby, we decided to try going over the waterfall.

We spent a couple of minutes analyzing the situation and making sure we wouldn't drown. After watching a handful of people successfully go over the falls, we decided to go in and give it a shot. The embankment down to the river was extremely steep, so of course I fell. That was barely embarrassing. Kyler thought we were taking too long, so he lept into his tube and immediately went rushing towards the waterfall (which was just around the river bend).

Bill, Rob, and I got into our tubes and started the float towards the waterfall. As we floated around the bend, we see Kyler, perched on a rock in the middle of the rushing river, sans tube! He had panicked at the last moment, grabbed onto the rock, but forgot that his tube would continue on without him! (We never claimed he was the sharpest crayon in the box.)

All three of us expended a lot of energy stopping at the top of the waterfall, making sure to keep our tubes.

27 minutes later...

We finally came up with a plan. Bill went over first to go look for Kyler's tube. (Strangers sitting up on the cliff watching the crazy people going over the waterfall informed us that it was on the bank a little ways down.) Kyler somehow needed to get over the waterfall. I voted that he share a tube with Rob. Unfortunately, Rob heard that idea and opted to make a quick get away by plunging headfirst & backwards over the steepest part of the waterfall. That left just me, my tube, and my desperate cousin.

The idea was that we would share the tube, laying side by side on our stomachs - reality was that Kyler jumped on my back pinning me on my stomach to the tube. We went headfirst over the waterfall.

It is at this point that I found out I'd need a new pair of sunglasses.

Kyler and I were both scraped up. My knees were bleeding a lot (like a small child), my sunglasses had drowned, and the strangers on the cliff were cheering. Kyler finally got his tube back by using Rob as a floatation device until he reached his tube.

The best part: Debbie was waiting on the bridge to take our pictures! She thought we had all drowned or floated so fast that she had missed us.

Kyler being sassy. Shocking that he lost his tube huh?

Uncle Wobby. He had a really hard time trying to figure out how to comfortably sit in his tube. I told him that 50 something year old men shouldn't be tubing anyway. Hip injuries are serious business. Also note, he is wearing his brand new swimming polo!

Please note that I'm without sunglasses. I know this isn't the most flattering picture, but I'm keeping it real, yo.

Exiting the river, alive and well. Did I mention I lost my sunglasses?

Uncle Wobby in need of a neck brace. He really sympathized with baby Kayden's struggle to hold up his head.

We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out at the Olympic size swimming pool. I went off the 10 meter platform dive. It was a big mistake. I realized it was a mistake the second I stepped off the platform. I think I bruised my bum. I was inspired by all the Olympic Divers. They made it look so easy! I also tried swimming a lap in the Olympic length pool. One lap only took me almost 5 minutes. Michael Phelps only beat me by 4 mins and 20 seconds or so. The pool is shockingly long. On t.v. from China it looked much smaller!

The weather was gorgeous and we enjoyed swimming and chatting (even though I suspect the woman on a beach blanket next to us had ringworm).

After 'old fashioned' hamburgers, we went down to the hot springs pools. This was by far my favorite part of the day.

There are three pools, each at a different temperature - hot, hotter, and burning. The pools are naturally fed hot springs. The city of Lava Hot Springs maintains the pools. They are very well kept. The bottom is small, smooth pebbles, they have benches and ramps everywhere, and the gardens surrounding the pools are lush. My favorite part of these hot springs are that they don't smell like sulphur! It was lounging in the ultimate bathtub - with strangers and strange family members!

Happy 28th Birthday Jorden!

2008-08-16T23:25:00.004-06:00

Autumn & I volunteered to help at Kate's brother's Open House Reception today. Kate's brother, B.J., was recently married to his imported Brazilian bride. Her name is Amanda (must be said with a heavy accent - of your choice). After we were released from our duties, we wandered around the Anderson property until we stumbled across this wild hippopotamus!

The situation quickly went downhill when I got my head stuck in her mouth.

After the reception, I scurried home to deliver an especially tasty package.

I spent the morning searching for a miniature cheesecake pan and then adjusting a cheesecake recipe to fit accordingly. A couple of hours later, I had the perfect brownie cheesecake for the special birthday girl! I arrived just in time to "sing" a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday' and then see Michael Phelps win his record breaking 8th Gold Medal - just for Jorden's birthday!

Happy Birthday Jorden! Welcome to the 'Late Twenties' Club. Those chocolate curls were made with love, just for you my friend. I hope your 28th year brings what your heart has desired for years now - a pot bellied pig!

Olympic Fever

2008-08-10T23:28:00.003-06:00

As many of you know, I was in the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics. And by 'in them', I mean I volunteered many, many, many hours of my life to make the games as fabulous as everyone remembers them. I didn't win a medal, or get paid money, but I did walk away with some great memorabilia (which I can never wear or display in fear of being publicly mocked - if you lived in Utah, you'd understand).

For this reason, I have a special place in my heart for the Olympics. I get very excited about the world coming together under the banner of some fierce, yet friendly competition.

That is why, for the opening ceremonies on Friday night in Beijing, Autumn, Mary, Rishann, and I cooked up some tasty homemade Chinese food. We had spicy beef sate, vegetable egg rolls, pot stickers, rice, and more Reese's pieces than anyone needs to know about.

Autumn got very into the swimming competitions that were held tonight. She likes to practice her dive into the pool.

I just like wearing the sassy swim gear while yelling encouragement for our American Athletes!

Hidden Link

2008-08-10T08:00:00.001-06:00

I haven't figured out how, but I'm pretty sure these three things are related.

Perhaps Russia is behind it all.

Park City Adventures

2008-08-09T22:11:00.005-06:00

Miss Quantz starts her new teaching job here in Utah quite soon. This naturally means a shopping trip for a new wardrobe was in order. Mary & I headed up to the Park City Outlet mall on Saturday morning to see what we could find.

I hit the jackpot at Banana Republic by finding a pair of sassy black heels for $6.97 (originally $79.99). I will admit that they are a smidge tight in the toe area, but I blame that on my Fred Flintstone like flat feet. It is not the shoes fault that my feet don't fit in them perfectly! This new pair of shoes brings my shoe tally up to somewhere around 91 pairs. I might be exaggerating that number, but perhaps not...

Mary & I purchased matching gold striped pants from Gap. My description doesn't do them justice. (After reading that line, I'm picturing something very clown like. They are cute. I only need my pair hemmed about 4 inches and they'd fit perfectly!) I'm very excited to wear them out at the same time, but Mary made me promise that we'd never be seen in public doing this. She ruins all the fun of the matching outfit game!

I thought of Grandma J as I purchased a bag full of soap from Bath & Body Works. We had a strange encounter with a very beautiful woman who worked at the store. She walked up with her thick, dark hair and perfectly smooth skin - and then HE asked us if we needed help finding any products. I really wanted to ask how he had gotten rid of his Adam's apple and yet couldn't shake the deep, manly voice, but instead I said we were just browsing.

And even though it is currently 127 degrees out, I bought two new sweaters. Hopefully cold weather is right around the corner, because they are too cute to sit in my closet for long!

Mary & I satiated our shopping hunger by going to Loco Lizard. It was part of the bargain. I'd help Mary find some clothes and she'd help me eat.

Loco Lizard is on my Top 6 restaurant list in Utah. I'm not claiming it is the most authentic Mexican food, but it sure is rather tasty.

My three favorite things about Loco Lizard are:

1) The Mole. When I first tried the mole, the waiter brought me out samples of the three different kinds so I could try them before I committed. Committing was hard because they are all so delicious. I appreciate their use of boneless, skinless chicken breast meat in the mole. Traditionally, dark meat on the bone is simmered in mole sauce. I once had a bad experience at Las Palmas with the bone in chicken mole. The horror is better left undiscussed.

2) The Smothered Chimichanga. First of all, when you order a chimi from here, it is the size of your forearm. Not my forearm - your forearm. Then, you can get it smothered. The forearm sized chimichanga is smothered in a Chile Verde MEAT sauce and cheese. Enough said. When Ciarra saw this, her eyes began to sparkle. She lives for chimichangas. I believe she ate every last bite.

3) Part A: The Salsas. Mary was with Ciarra and I when we first tried Loco Lizard on the recommendation of a Banana Republic cashier. This means that Mary was present for our argument on the ingredients of the green salsa. Ciarra swore that the green salsa was so silky smooth because it had avocado in it. I strongly disagreed. I argued that there was no way a restaurant could afford to make a salsa with avocados in it and give it away for free with a bucket of chips. We consulted our extremely attractive waiter and he confirmed that the green salsa did in fact have avocado in it. I should have known Ciarra was right. After all, she has a degree in salsa. (Or is it in Mexican Food with an emphasis in Mexican condiments?) She got this right after her degree in Diagnosing and right before her Masters in 'I Know Everything'.

Part B: The chocolate & caramel dipping sauce for the homemade churros. There are no words to describe the deep, dark chocolate and the thick, creamy caramel. The last time I went with Rob & Debbie, I tried asking the waitress if she could put the leftovers in some sort of 'to go' container - all 1 oz of it. Unfortunately, she thought I was kidding.

A Veritable Smorgasbord

2008-08-04T08:00:00.001-06:00

After a long hiatus, the Internet has been returned to us. All praise Jerri, the Qwest Employee, who came out on Sunday morning to climb up a telephone poll and plug our phone line back in!

Now that I have your attention, I have a burning question. How long do you let a nest full of quail eggs sit in the Utah sun before you dispose of them?

These particular eggs have been here since late May early June.

I think it is time to call in Templeton the Rat and let him glut, glut, glut, glut.

Eerie Coincidence

2008-07-28T14:49:00.004-06:00

Is it a coincidence that Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer is coming out as the SAME DAY as National Mustard Day?

I think not!

Babies & Weddings

2008-07-22T22:11:00.004-06:00

Natalie, a former roommate, long time friend, and current fellow book club member recently gave birth to a little baby boy. His name is Christopher William. I choose to call him George Michael. It's a long story...

Mother, if you are reading this, please ignore the sorry state of my hair. It was really hot out that day!

Here, George Michael is telling me I've got a little something on my lip. He's so considerate.

Mary, Autumn, and I then headed over to the Alpine Arts Center to attend a wedding reception for Amanda & Matt.

It was your typical LDS wedding reception - mini sandwiches, eclairs, fruit & vegetable trays, etc.

After the reception, we headed over to the American Fork Cafe Rio for some dinner. I know you are surprised. I rarely go to Cafe Rio. I had a cheese quesadilla and a papaya mango fruit fresca. I might be addicted to that beverage now.

Welcome To Your Late Twenties!

2008-07-22T13:48:00.003-06:00

HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY SARAH!

I hope your birthday is filled with tasty treats and magical wonders... even though I happen to know you are working until Friday.

You are a fantabulous BFF and I just know our 28th year will be filled with great adventures!

R.I.P Yellow Bird

2008-07-21T11:00:00.002-06:00

Yellow Bird passed away this morning after a week long battle with an open chest wound caused during a mugging by a large feline. For days, it seemed that he might pull through, but infection set in and death came swiftly.

Yellow Bird lived a short, but full life. His hobbies included singing, flying, eating, and hanging out on his front perch. Yellow Bird is survived by his owner Rishann Nielson and his partner, Blue Bird (of Provo).

Memorial services were held at the family's home. Yellow Bird was buried in the Provo Pet Cemetery just north of the acorn squash plant.

Family members ask that in lieu of flowers, monetary donations be made to the any of the following charities: PETA, Elephant Sanctuary, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

At The Falls

2008-07-20T15:16:00.002-06:00

After a grueling 7 hour hike, we finally made it to Stewart Falls.

The hike in was only 2 miles. I think it probably took us about an hour and a half, maybe a little less. Kate could probably do it in 15 minutes.

Please ignore the random lady in the picture. She wouldn't get out of the way. I bet she took the chairlift.

This is me climbing up an incredibly steep, slippery incline to reach the top of the falls. I figured if The Mountain Goat could do it, so could I. At this point, I wasn't really considering how I was going to get down.

Mary took a more honest shot of me climbing up the previously mentioned incline. I had gotten myself into a slippery pickle. The last thing I wanted to do was go sliding down that rocky dirt - after all, Kate had not brought her EMT kit. What you don't see is the large group of people singing hymns at the bottom that would witness any embarrassing fall. And P.S. I have my mother's B.B.A. - figure that one out...

The water was very cold - almost like it was recently melted snow from the mountain top. I wish we had gotten a video of this 'shower'. Mary was screeching like a girly girl!

Don't worry, I didn't drink any mountain water. I learned that lesson.

The hike back was long and wet. I was brilliant and opted to not take the case for my camera with me so I had to hike back holding my camera out from my side so it didn't get dripped on and up from the ground so it didn't get dusty. This was not a comfortable position.

Immediately up entering back into the valley, we went to Cafe Rio for lunch. Shocking, I know.

The Hike to Stewart Falls

2008-07-20T15:14:00.005-06:00

On Saturday, Kate, Mary, and I found the energy to wake up early and hike to Stewart Falls. I tried to find out why the falls were named after someone named Stewart, but all Google produced was not so interesting facts about Rod Stewart.

The trail head for the full hike is up at Aspen Grove located at the Sundance Resort. Through other means, I had found out that the falls are also accessible by chairlift. You can ride Ray's Lift up and then skip lazily through a meadow filled with singing forest animals right to the base of the falls. Kate and Mary voted no to this option for reasons unknown to me. (Mary did claim fear of chairlifts and Kate said she had no idea what I was talking about...) To be fair, I should also mention that the lift costs $8/person.

We opted to park the car and start at Aspen Grove.

Immediately, Kate claimed to have found a short cut to the main path. It was straight up the side of the very steep mountain. Kate bounded up like a mountain goat. Ten minutes and a couple of choice words later, Mary and I made it up too. I think Mary & I ruined the whole concept of it being a 'short cut'.

About 20 minutes into the hike, I recovered from the short cut. I started appreciating how beautiful the scenery is.
Is that a hatch? Perhaps The Pearl or maybe The Swan? We didn't stop to find out. Pushing a button for the next 7 years doesn't sound like my idea of a good time!

Stopping for a water break. Mary chose not to pose mid-gulp.

Kate pointing out the path - or maybe the scenery.

The Mountain Goat strikes again.

Kate had so much energy so I told her to lay on all the sharp rocks and pretend to be climbing up the side of the mountain. She did it.

Tagged

2008-07-17T14:03:00.008-06:00

I was tagged by photographer extraordinaire Mrs. Stacie Powers. I have no idea what I'm suppose to do, but it here goes:

10- Ten years ago

I had just graduated from Antioch Community High School and was working by day in a local factory with my brother Justen and Kristin Scopel shrink wrapping stationary baskets & an occasional dead snake, & putting tags on shower puffs. During the evening, I was umping girls softball with Kristin. This was the summer of 'The Four Girls Big Adventure to Virginia Beach'. I got my first (and only) speeding ticket during the drive. The weeks were counting down to my big move to Utah and life at Brigham Young University.

5- Five years ago

I was living in the brick house in Provo, working at BYU TakeOut Catering, sending Jorden off on a mission to Italy, and finally deciding to move home for a year (where I worked at LifeWatch & Volkswagen Credit). I was ecstatic to welcome Stacie 'BoJarvis' home from her mission (even though she was deathly afraid of my dog Fezzik - who at the time was a secret from my family).

5- Five months ago

I was celebrating the new year, working happily at BYU TakeOut Catering in our fabulous old building and ignoring my family when they kept chanting "Be Great in '08" & "Graduate in '08".

5- Five things to do tomorrow:

1. Laundry (I have run out of the essentials - if you know what I mean)

2. Pickle Red Onions for leftover Pork Tacos

3. Start reading Book Club Book while laying in my hammock

4. Eat gelato

5. Go to work in my closet

5- Bad habits

1. Procrastinating

2. Impulsive book buying sprees

3. Postponing

4. Eating gelato every night

5. Delaying

5- Places I've Lived

1. Skokie, Illinois

2. Fontana, Wisconsin

3. Antioch, Illinois

4. Baligen, Germany

5. Provo, Utah

5- Things people may not know about me

1. I have an unexplained fear of cardboard originating from China

2. I've read the book Jaws more times than I can count (I just finished it again yesterday)

3. One time in the mid-80's, I went as a 'Rabbit in a Hat' for Halloween

4. I won $100 in a writing contest in 8th grade. The theme had something to do with America's Banking System.

5. Sometimes, my favorite thing in the world to eat is spaghetti from a box

Sunday Night Moth Infestation

2008-07-13T23:17:00.005-06:00

Rishann, Autumn, and I were having a lazy Sunday evening swinging in the hammock (which I purchased courtesy of my stimulus check) when Autumn pointed out a very disturbing event occurring right over our heads.

The Great Moth Infestation of '08

They are everywhere! I just know they are up there planning an attack.

I Tink I Taw a Puddy Cat!

2008-07-13T10:00:00.004-06:00

This is Dusty. Sometimes he goes by Tina. He is 14 years old. We inherited him from my cousin's husband Bill, but that is a story for another time.

Last night, tragedy struck when Dusty 'The Beast' attacked Yellow Bird the Parakeet.

Autumn discovered Yellow Bird in Dusty's mouth. Rishann accidentally left her bird cage & the door to her bedroom open when she left to go to Famous Footwear to look for a casual, yet dressy sandal. Dusty struck at the opportunity (pun most definitely intended).

Kate the EMT immediately performed life saving techniques on poor Yellow Bird. He had received a deep puncture wound to the chest. She applied pressure to the wound and cleaned it out with antiseptic. The other details are too grisly to discuss.

After much debate (and around 12:30 am), I accompanied Rishann to an emergency vet in Sandy.

Once there, Yellow Bird received treatment. Dr. Latimer plucked out the feathers surrounding the wound and injected Yellow Bird with an antibiotic. He reassured Rishann that Yellow Bird has a 90% chance of survival as long as his wound remains infection free.

Rishann has to give Yellow Bird a shot of antibiotic every night for 10 days.

We won't even discuss how much that late night emergency doctor's visit cost.

On a happier note, we did officially learn that Yellow Bird is a male parakeet.

And, that it is somewhat embarrassing telling a vet tech that you named your bird 'Yellow Bird' right after she asks what color it is...

Farmer's Market Continued

2008-07-12T16:05:00.003-06:00

A band usually plays during the Farmer's Market. This band member looked very disgruntled the whole time I watched him play.

Just to prove my previous statement - this picture was taken a good ten minutes after the first one and his facial expression hasn't changed a bit!

I am obsessed with gelato. We have a gelato cafe on Center Street in Provo called Maestro's. One might say I eat there frequently. This week they showed up at the Farmer's Market. I had raspberry and chocolate.

Images From the Farmer's Market

2008-07-12T16:00:00.005-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I spent part of my stimulus check on a brand new digital camera. My old camera still worked, but it was about 8 years old. I think it is a 1-megapixel camera. So far, I heart my new Canon Powershot G9. I'm still learning, but my shots are so much better already.

This 'Mango Man' is a little creepy. Not nearly as endearing as the M&M characters.

Rickshaw rides - only $1!

One day, you should ask me about the time I taught myself how to make balloon art.

"I carried a watermelon."

I recently saw a whole segment on 'Unwrapped' on the Food Network about the correct way to pull cotton candy. Apparently, she didn't pay attention.

My Dog Fezzik Likes To Roam...

2008-07-08T15:05:00.001-06:00

For all of you who ever wonder how my dog Fezzik is doing, he's just great. He's living the good life in Illinois with his BFF Wrigley. They recently strolled out the door and went for an invigorating swim. No one even noticed they were gone!

Does anyone else think Wrigley does an impressive impersonation of a beached seal?

Today, Fezzik went in for his semi-annual bath & shave. The ladies at The Barker Shoppe in Antioch just adore him. They do a great job for pretty cheap, and they always give Fezzik a smart looking kerchief to prance around in. Doesn't he look happy (and patriotic)?

The Tastiest Part of the Parker Farmer's Market

2008-07-06T17:00:00.003-06:00

Two nice boys from Iowa, spreading deliciousness throughout the land!

My favorite is Tiger's Blood. I mean, who wouldn't want to eat something called Tiger's Blood?

Look at that skill! There really is an art to the perfect Hawaiian Shave Ice. My Dad always says so. There is nothing like the real thing!

(It doesn't hurt that these boys are h-o-t-t hot either.)

Even the crazy man's bird loves it! I bet his favorite flavor is blue raspberry, or maybe cotton candy.

Check them out to see if they'll be in your area!

Chilly Water Hawaiian Shave Ice

Quick Visit to AZ

2008-06-20T22:23:00.000-06:00

On my way to Iowa for a weekend visit, I had the opportunity to spend the day in Arizona with Anne, Mark, and Mary. It was a quick trip filled with food & fun!

Anne & Mary picked me up from the airport at 8:00 a.m. We quickly decided that swimming had to be on the agenda. (After all, this is AZ. It was approximately 137 degrees when I got off the plane.) We all changed into our suits and headed over to Miss Wendy's house. We splashed around, made friends with a very large grasshopper, and admired each other's swimsuits.

After going home to change, we went to Anne's local commune, Agritopia, and had lunch at Joe's Farm Grill.

I had an extremely delicious hamburger with grilled peppers & mushrooms, fontina cheese, and pesto. The beef in this burger was juicy and meaty. Yes, I know, the beef tasted like beef (and the snozberries taste like snozberries). But the difference between fresh, locally raised beef and the frozen stuff is worth talking about. The hand cut onion rings were large, crunchy, and perfectly fried. Even Mary enjoyed the herb crust on the onions!

For dessert, I had a fresh strawberry shake with a plump blue raspberry flavored maraschino cherry! (Gotta love those fake cherries)

The rest of the afternoon, Anne and I spent chatting and stalking people's blogs. Soon we had to pile in the car and pick up Mark from the Seminary building. After a quick tour it was time to head to the airport.

But first, a detour was in order. We had to stop and eat at Sprinkles as part of my cupcake research. I had a dark chocolate cupcake which was so delicious, but the strawberry cupcake was nothing to write home about. The cupcakes were pricey (around $4 a piece) and there was no place to sit and enjoy a cupcake (inside or outside). Another huge downfall was the eating implement they give you to assist in the consuming of the cupcake. It was wooden. I despise eating off of wooden things. It doesn't taste good and the way it makes my tongue feels gives me the heebie jeebies.

Overall, I don't think I'll be dreaming about a cupcake from Sprinkles at night... but a burger from Joe's is a whole different story...

Just call me...

2008-06-18T23:32:00.004-06:00

Xavier Roberts.

Bloomin' Tomatillo

2008-06-18T23:15:00.002-06:00

Only a matter of months before I can make these.

It Started With The Farmer's Market

2008-06-08T22:23:00.013-06:00

The Provo City Farmer's Market started yesterday. That's where I was when I spotted this. It is a Candy Corn Plant. Delicious.

I quickly also spotted this and this. The oh so beloved Genovese Basil plant. I've only been trying to hunt one down for months now! How is a girl suppose to eat in the summer without fresh basil?

Because I already had this.

I had to dig up this. I learned the 'creating a rock outline' from my mother - Lisa Marie. There was no one around to pay to dig up and gather those rocks though.

Next thing I knew, I had planted all of these.

In case you are wondering - it includes six Ivory Bell Peppers, five Red Bell Peppers, six Brussels Sprouts, one Jalapeno, one Hot Cherry Pepper, six Tomatoes, one Black Tomato, two Cucumbers, and two Basil Plants. Oh - and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

Ikea

2007-06-25T19:40:00.002-06:00

The fires have started to burn. The mountains to the west are on fire. Lots and lots of smoke. We could really, really, really use some rain. Utah could always use rain.

I went with my roommate Mary and her friend Sharon to Ikea today.

I bought a Mortar and Pestle. I could possibly be the only person who goes to Ikea and gets overwhelmingly excited about purchasing a mortar & pestle.

I can't wait to pound out something tasty.

Luxury Groceries

2007-06-24T22:17:00.000-06:00

I got to talk to Becca today. I miss her, Stoe, & the child so much. Provo (and my life) just isn't the same without them.

After an episode or two of Entourage, Ciarra and I went to Starbucks. Then we went to go spend my gift card at the Target. I had a $20 gift card to Target for participating in a focus group on O.R.C.A. for one of my employees. The best part of shopping at Target was when Ciarra said, "Justin (a.k.a. not our brother) was right, Target is high class." This was all because she found that you could buy baby vegetables (zucchini, squash) ready to steam in a bag.

As a side note, we found fresh Rhubarb there. Who knew?

We bought stuff for tomato, mozzarella, and basil paninis with a side salad. The salad was fantastic. It had endive, bleu cheese, grilled pears, toasted pecans, craisins, and a lemon mustard vinaigrette. We had to decimate my 6 baby basil plants for the sandwiches and basil garlic mayo. We cut up some strawberries for dessert. It was one of those perfect meals.

After dinner was more Entourage.

The Video Store Never Forgets

2007-06-24T18:27:00.001-06:00

Saturday was incredibly hot. Like 108 hot. Work was busy, busy, busy, and then slow. I was so bored when I got home. After killing some time cleaning, I finally got Ciarra to wake up from her nap. We decided to go out to eat, but were distracted by one of the most fabulous new reality t.v. shows. Confessions of a Matchmaker. We knew we couldn't leave until we discovered whether or not the tall, dark, and handsome 41 year old virgin was gay or not.

Dinner at Ottavio's was delicious. I got the Pollo Porcini Cannelloni and Ciarra got the Ravioli Pescatora. When we were done, we needed a fat dog.

It was around 8:30 p.m. when we got home. Ciarra went to read H.P. and I decided to go get a movie. A very good lookin' friend of mine had highly recommended Entourage. I had only seen a couple of episodes and I wanted to start from season 1 episode 1. I ran over to the local Blockbuster only to discover that they didn't carry season 1. Only seasons 2 & 3.

I drove to the Blockbuster by my gym. "No, we don't carry season 1."

Same thing at the Hollywood Video down the block.

I finally had them call the Hollywood in Orem by where C.C. works. They carried season 1 and it was in stock. I had them put it on hold.

After waiting in line for 20 minutes behind the stupidest double date ever, I finally got to check out my movies. The lady scans my card and says, "You have a late fee. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was due back on September 29, 2005 and it was returned on October 6, 2005. The fee is $7."

I am shocked. I literally haven't been here since I checked out this movie in September of '05. My project partner was suppose to return that movie & apparently she couldn't handle that task! On the plus side, I did get an 'A' on that project. It was for my food and literature class. We made tomato ice cream, tomato cake, and a very tasty, savory, tomato tart.

$16 later I had season 1 of Entourage. It was 10:00 p.m. but I still managed to watch the first couple of episodes. I'm hooked.

1408

2007-06-22T23:13:00.000-06:00

I went with some of my employees and Ciarra to go see 1408 tonight. It was scary. Mostly because I didn't have a hoodie to hide behind. It wasn't a blood and gore kind of scary. It was a psychological suspense movie - more like Hitchcock. I'd recommend it.

Before the movie, we went to eat at Red Robin. I finally convinced Ciarra to split a meal with me. She has some strange phobia of splitting. We both frequently get the clucks and fries but it is too much food for either of us to finish. (Probably because I insist on getting more fries to go with my 72 different kinds of dipping sauces.) This particular evening I really, really wanted a Hawaiian Heart Throb Smoothie (that always reminds me of BoJarvis) and only one cluck. I practically had to beg Ciarra to share with me. She only agreed to share when I offered to pay. She's so strange...

In Search of Rhubarb

2007-06-17T22:43:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we made the mistake of asking Uncle Rob what he would like to eat for Father's Day. I should have known we'd be in trouble when he said he'd get back to us.

His final decision was beef ribs, German potato salad, baked beans, BBQ chicken, and strawberry rhubarb pie.

Problem number 1 was the beef ribs. This is not a 'throw on the grill' kind of food. I had to put in a couple of hours of Internet research to even feel comfortable buying them. Then we had to go to three grocery stores to find them. During this search I tried to get Rob to change to rib-eyes, baby back ribs, or anything else really. Unfortunately, his mind was made up.

The larger problem was rhubarb. As I suspected, in our area, rhubarb is a spring plant. We went to Wal-Mart, Smith's, Albertson's, and Macey's. They didn't even have frozen rhubarb! The strawberries looked/smelled fabulous and I loaded up on their cheap deliciousness. I then discovered that blueberries are in season again and grabbed some of those.

In the end, I made the beef ribs. Even though Rob panicked because he thought they were burnt, they were scrumptious. I'll probably never make them again. The two slabs that I made were too much work. They took hours and hours to cook. I haven't mastered the long term charcoal cooking on my Weber so they ended up spending the majority of the time in the oven.

For dessert, I made a cream cheese blueberry roll up, fresh strawberry sorbet, and whip cream and extra strawberries for strawberry shortcake for all those who wanted it. Yes, that is 3 desserts - but is was an emotional weekend. Everyone needed lots of dessert. I wasn't disappointed that we couldn't find rhubarb. After all, who loves rhubarb? It's only edible with lots and lots of sugar!

As a funny side note, I totally got lost driving home from Kalissa's house. This is not surprising considering I can never take the same way there. It is as if her house is unplottable (yes, that is a Harry Potter reference). During our search for I-15, Kyler was getting sicker and sicker. All of a sudden, and rather quietly, he said, "I'm going to vomit." Sure enough, no sooner had I pulled over, that he was puking and puking. And yet, the kid still insisted that we dropped him off at his 'girlfriend's' house. Oh to be young and in love...

Baby Kayson Kent

2007-06-16T15:27:00.000-06:00

Leslie and Kreyton's (my cousin) baby died last Tuesday (June 12th). He was less than 3 months old. Kayson had a rare genetic disorder that affected his body at the metabolic level. It is still unsure what disease he had, but it was all very tragic.

Today was his funeral. The funeral home they had the service at was extremely nice. Not at all like where Grandpa Kent and Aunt Stephanie's funerals were. That funeral home was so... well, Polish. You'd understand if you were from Chicago.

Kayson was buried next to Leslie's dad at the Provo Cemetery. I love that cemetery. I go walk in it often to look at the graves. I made Ciarra go with me on Memorial day just to witness how many flowers, balloons, and picnics people bring. Yes, I said picnics.

At the cemetery, Kreyton helped Lexie (Leslie's daughter) release a white dove and we all left roses on his teeny, tiny casket.

Universe 1, Shoshanah 0

2007-06-15T21:12:00.000-06:00

As I was folding my laundry today, I kept finding all these little pieces of paper stuck to my clothes. I kept folding and collecting. To my utter horror, I discovered I had washed my Cafe Rio card.
After purchasing 10 meals, I had earned a free meal and I flippantly sent it through the washing machine! I get sad just thinking about it. That card represented a pork salad, light rice, both beans, shredded lettuce, extra pico de gallo, guacamole, a scoop of salsa fresca, fried tortilla strips, lime wedge, cilantro, cotija cheese, and tomatillo ranch dressing with a Dr. Pepper (no ice)- for free!
I worked hard for that card. I deserve a free salad. I have no shame in bringing all those pieces in a little baggie to the front counter and asking for my free meal!
Of course, I'll never be able to go back if I actually do that.
Oh how I miss you Cafe Rio Card!!!